"In pop culture, girls who crush hopelessly on guys they can’t have are painted as just that – hopeless. Over and over again, we’re taught that girls who openly express sexual or romantic interest in guys who don’t want them are pitiable, stalkerish, desperate, crazy bitches. More often than not, they’re also portrayed as ugly – whether physically, emotionally or both – in order to further establish their undesirability as an objective fact. Both narratively and, as a consequence, in real life, men are given free reign to snub, abuse, mislead and talk down to such women: we’re raised to believe that female desire is unseemly, so that any consequent shaming is therefore deserved. There is no female-equivalent Friend Zone terminology because, in the language of our culture, a man’s romantic choices are considered sacrosanct and inviolable. If a girl has been told no, then she has only herself to blame for anything that happens next – but if a woman says no, then she must not really mean it. Or, if she does, she shouldn’t: the rejected man is a universally sympathetic figure, and everyone from moviegoers to platonic onlookers will scream at her to just give him a chance, as though her rejection must always be unfounded rather than based on the fact that he had a chance, and blew it. And even then, give him another one! The pathos of Single Nice Guys can only be eased by pity-sex with unwilling women that blossoms into romance!"
Lamenting the Friendzone, or: The Nice Guy Approach to Perpetuating Sexist Bullshit (via grrl-meat
(Source: fozmeadows, via ate-icecream-in-a-desert-dream)
Perks of Being A Wallflower is one of my favorite novels. But I think the notion that “we accept the love we think we deserve” is complete bullshit.
Tonight was Take Back the Night at my college. We rallied against sexual abuse and gender violence.
I knew that I did not deserve you or what you did to me. I don’t want to accept what you did to me because it happened and it was wrong and that was my life. I can’t accept what you did to me because I can never get that back. I didn’t deserve you. I will never accept it or forget it, and that’s what will make me stronger.
Forever exists because
you smoked a pack of
cigarettes every day
and now there is ash
lost in my lungs.